nyssa

Hello buddies,

 I am finally back and on track. The bad news is…I stepped on my mom’s digital scale this morning and I am actually tipping the scale at 285- please excuse me while I try to hold the bile down. OMG this has gotten way WAY out of control. The good news is that I am finally in a place where I can make good decisions and all of that. This weight has to come off, and I am done screwing around. I am 15 pounds from just giving up completely. I know that there are some amazing women on here who have worked their way down from the 300 mark and have done amazing things, but I am afraid that if I hit that I will have a break down and give up!

Ok, enough with the negative talk…That gets us no where, right?  SO here it is- I am starting all over (I guess…damn scale) and this time I am going to stick with it- I refuse to let 300 be a number in my life.

Much Love Buddies~ Have a great day

Hey there buddies~

 I have been MIA for the past several days….The good news is, the move went really well. I am in Denver now! I think I did pretty good at staying OP this weekend…..well I did drink a lot of beer on Friday night, but I have been drinking a ton of water since then, so we should be good. My mom and I are going to go sign up for that gym this week, I am SO psyched about that!! Now it is just kinda settling back in and what not.

 I know it is short and not a whole lot to say about weight loss….hopefully I will have more later this week.

 Have a great day buddies!

It is so amazing how fast time flies. I have been so excited about moving home. Still am. But it is crazy to think that it has already been 2 weeks since I made my decision and got my butt in gear. There are so many things I am excited to do when I get back home to Denver. The biggest one right now is getting back to a gym. That is so great! My mom is going to join with me, which is great! I think we will be really good support for one another.

 I had always pictured the next time I came home, I would be fit and healthy and just suprise the hell out of everyone. Sadly that isn’t the case…but I have made several lifestyle changes that make me feel good about the path that I am on. You know, it is kinda silly to think about how little things effect one’s confidence level. I decided one day at the beginning of the month that I was going to stop biting my nails….and Poof! Here it is the 23rd and my hands look great! My nails are long enough that I can go have a manicure with out being embarassed. LOL I can be such a girl some times. Another thing I have been doing is reaching for the fruits and veggies instead of the candy for snacks. These little steps, help me realize that I really am ready to make this weightloss thing permenent. Hurray!

So now the work begins! I have to finish packing tonight and take care of last minute details tomorrow…My mom and bf get here tomorrow night, we start packing the trailer Saturday. I promised I would take them into the city on saturday night, we have to stop at the ex’s tattoo shop (I gotta get this touch up done). Hopefully he won’t be there….geez! So Sunday will be spent finishing the loading and cleaning the apt and Monday morning we will be on the road….Yeah, yeah I know….you probably don’t need to know my entire plan, but I have to tell it to myself as much as possible to make sure that it gets done.

 I am GOING HOME! Hurray!

OK, so here it is!

 I read a blog a little while ago about someone who had set some little goals for herself and then came back and posted them again with info about whether she had met them or not. It was really inspiring to me. SO, I started thinking, my 22nd birthday is in a little less that 2 months and I think I owe it to myself to set 5 mini goals for the 14th of Oct. Nothing big, just things that I want to be able to do that weekend.

 Here it is!

1) Complete one full line dance (a whole song) at the club with out getting winded

2) Buy a birthday outfit OUTSIDE of the plus size section

3) Leave the club after dancing without looking like a drown rat (sweating profusely..eew)

4) Wear strappy heels with out worrying about water retention in my ankles!!

5) Walk a mile in under 20 minutes!

 SO, I have 2 months, wish me luck! These are my birthday gifts to myself!

Ok, let me tell you first that this blog is mostly just venting and I will totally understand if you just skip it…LOL don’t worry, I still love you all!

 Next, I will pre-empt this with the fact that I am normaly a drama-free type of person, I really do general think the live and let live philosophy is the best way to go. NOW, I feel that I must react to a certain blog that I just read. Since when did it be come our job as a community to force people to feel better about them selves? I am all about support, and helping educate people about health but for the love of man kind?!!? I just don’t see how someone can get off blaming their lack of motivation or success on the people here. I have had nothing but a wonderful feed back from the people here.

So, yes….all I have to say is Grrrr.. that person is going to be miserable thier entire life, not because of the people around them, but because of their wretched attitude. Good luck to you, b/c we don’t need crappy attitudes like that here!!!

Ok, so I started doing a little on-line window window shopping and I starting thinking about how much I hate my clothes. I look frumpy….you know, that usual “I am heavy, so I gotta wear big, balloony, hidy type clothes”. So I was shopping and I was looking at all of the way cute clothes that I could wear if I was fit and healthy….I would look better at work, I would look better in casual clothes…..and oh would I look HOT when I went to the clubs!

So, here is the deal, I am putting an immediate and complete ban on buying clothes until I reach my goal. Of course, I will have to buy some transition clothes while I work hard but I am not buying any more plus sized get up…..None, zip, zilch nada! And, the great part is, if I work hard I will meet my goal by christmas, and I can take serious advantage of holiday sales. I WILL be at 215 by Christmas!!!! I WILL!

Good Morning Buddies-

A short one this morning. I just thought I would update you all on some lifestyle changes that I have noticed in myself. So for the last couple of nights I have found myself having this problem: I eat dinner, and then I get up and think “Oh MY GOD! How can I still be hungry??” And, the truth is, I still DO feel hungry, even tho I have had a proper meal. Now, here is the good part- When I have moments like that I can honestly say I have found my self thinking, “Wait…..just wait 10 minutes, if I am still hungry then I will make something else to eat.” Needless to say, giving myself those extra 10 minutes, I completely forget that I am hungry (or the food finally settles, yes??) and I don’t eat again. YAY! I am a happy girl!!

Have a healthy day buddies!

Good Morning Buddies!

 Today is going well here! Just kinda pluggin along and what not. I get more and more excited everytime I think about the fact that this time 2 weeks from now I will be able to join a Gym. Part of me was kind of worried that I would end up falling off my plan with the whole “well, I can’t get to the gym for two weeks, so why bother?” Argument. But I have been patiently reminding myself that if I wasn’t moving I wouldn’t be able to go at ALL, and that I need to stick with it.

So that brings me to my next point. I was talking to my mom last night……wait, I guess I should give you a little back story… When I was 4 my mom was forced to take my sister and I in to hiding (basically) and we ended up in a battered women’s shelter. There we met this other woman who had an 8 year old son. Well through out the years, yes…count them 17 years… My mom and this woman have stayed friends, and her son has been in and out of the picture, doing as boys do….kinda wondering around. Anyways, I had a major school girl crush on him for as long as I can remember, but I haven’t seen him in about 6 years……NOW, fast forward to the present. Come to find out that my mom bumped into him yesterday and started talking about how I am moving back in two weeks. Apparently, he has been asking if I am still with the boyfriend….or what the whole deal is with THAT… I am not reading too much into it….cause lets face it, that was SIX years ago…. But I will readily admit that I really REALLY want to meet up with him, a strong and confident woman. I know that I won’t be able to make much difference in the way I look by then, but I can be there mentally. And that is half the battle, right?

Now, for the actual title of my blog. I was listening on the radio and they got on the subject of New Year’s resolutions….you would have had to hear the conversation to understand why they were talking about them in August…..but Anyway. I have been thinking, I make NYR every year saying the same thing….yes, you guessed it “this year I will get into shape” Well, NOT ANY MORE. I have a new goal. By New years this year I will have already lost all of my weight. I WILL be in shape. That way I can make a NYR that is worth something, No more weighting (pardon the pun) I am getting this stuff going NOW.

 So there is my motivation for the day. Thanks for reading and have a great day buddies!

Good morning Buddies!!

This is kinda a reflective…its ok if you just wanna skim..

 Well, I must admit that this weekend has been pretty tough. I was forced to sit down and really face the facts about my situation. My mom and I (over the phone) crunched the numbers and really thought about why it was that I moved here. The truth is that I haven’t really accomplished the goals that I set for myself. I am not in school, I am struggling to pay my bills, and the truth is that I am stuggling to survive. SO, deep breath, I have made the decision to move back home. I am sad to have to leave, I work with great people and have an amazing boss, but sadly, it must be done. So, what do I gain from moving? What is my plan? I am so excited that I actually have a plan! The truth is, the wheels have been put into motion rather quickly and, infact, 2 weeks from today I will be back in Denver. In my talk with My mom we have decided that I am goin to move back in with her, get a PART TIME job, and use the time that I have off to go to school. I am so so excited! AND the other major upside to this is, living in Denver I will be able to get back to a gym. That part is absolutely amazing to me. I have missed being able to work out on the machines, have instruction and all of that wonderful stuff.

 So, as I have said….it was a rough weekend, but it was very productive and I think those hard decisions are goin to be for the best.

Have a great week Buddies!

Yes, thats right Buddies, I got on the scale and .:Pooftada:. I am down to 277!!! I am so so psyched!! SO know the trick is going to be to stay OP and to keep kickin it up and keep losing. I know I can do it!!! I am gonna change my excersize routine around a little. The plan is to do tae-bo or something like that in the morning, and then take the pooch for a walk in the evening. That way I can watch my time and NOT be late for work…. So, yeah, I am like totally excited today!!!

Gotta go grocery shopping tomorrow, I am fighting a money crisis at the moment, so I won’t be able to buy as much freash food as I had hoped. But I DO promise to watch the calls and to stay away from the fast food. In fact, b/c I have no moneyes to play this weekend, I am going to stay home (and far far away from fattening restaurants) all together! It is gonna be great!

Much Love, Have a great weekend!!