nyssa

Good Morning Buddies!

It has been a rough couple of days for me. I don’t know why, just really emotional today I guess. Sigh, anyway, I was forced to really pay attention to why I am not making any headway. I don’t understand why I keep sabatoging myself! I do this everytime! when I start to see results, I stop goin to the gym, stop watching what I eat, the whole shabang. I just don’t get it. Losing weight consumes most of my thought process, it is always back in the back of my mind some where buzzing around. Yet, I continue to fall off the wagon.

How can I want it so bad, but work against myself to get it?

Ok, so I know it sounds like the title to a 4th graders essay but seriously Buddies.

 So, we got some bad news yesterday. My mom’s doctor says that if she doesn’t get her butt in gear and start getting healthier they are going to put her on insulin. How crazy is that????

 I guess my thing is that I always thought, well…I look ok I guess…it could be worse…and so I haven’t taken the actual weight loss seriously. And then it was…well, you can try but you will never actually succeed…. But it is all sinking in. My mom has diabetes due to her weight. end of story. period.

Now, short of being the perverbial fat lady (I don’t even sing out side of the car btw) I am putting my foot down. I am NOT going to let this illness get me OR my mom. There is no more time to screw around and be afraid of success. This HAS TO work.

Sigh, sorry buddies. I just needed to vent. this is definately one of those “i never thought it would happen to us” moments.

Much love,

Nys