nyssa

Good Morning Good Morning!!

 I don’t know why, but I had a hell of a time getting on here today. Meh, oh well- Here I am. So I have enlisted my cousin to keep me going in my weight loss journey. She is so cute, she has lost 3 dress sizes in the last couple of monthes by workin out and watching her carbs and such (what a novel concept, right!?!?!) She is amazing, and I love her to death. Anyways, she and I were talking on Saturday and she kept telling me, “just take baby steps…keep working at it” I know I know, it sounds silly…but something just kinda clicked. So, I got up this morning and did a 20 minute Turbo Jam work out. I feel FANTASTIC! Today is going so much better.

 SOOOOO, on the flip side of all of this. My work out is helping me pull my self out of this little back hole I let myself slip in to. YAY! So, now that I am starting to get things under control, I am ready to go after it! I have class today- but before I go there I am gonna go clean out my car. Then when I get home I am going to get some laundry done. I swear Buddies, the depression gnomes have left my house in complete shambles!

 You are all fabulous! And I hope you have a great day!

Good Morning People!!!

 I am having a fantastic day! Had some good news come down the pike yesterday- but I don’t want to say anything until I know more. Anyway, needless to say, I am in much higher spirits now than I was.

 I do, however, need to cut the crap today about my weight loss. The honest to God truth is- I can barely afford to eat the cheap crap right now…let alone fruit and veggies that I need to lose weight. I am trying my hardest to drink plenty of water (cause it’s free!) and stay active through out this craziness…but buddies, I just can’t seem to get it under control right now. I love being here with all of your support, and I love supporting you all, but I hope that you aren’t terribly disappointed in me!

Anyways, things are changing and it is all going to work out here very soon! Have a great day!

Yes, that’s right buddies, I worked out this morning again! Hooray for me! LOL I am just so excited, I took your advice and when my alarm went off this morning I just thought of how amazing I felt yesterday and off I went! They say that you have to do something 27 times for it to become a habit- Well, I have done this 2 days in a row, so I only have 25 more days until I am officially in the habit of working out in the morning. YAY!

I am so excited… This is the first time that I have been realistic about my weight loss and my goals. I am being conservative, setting weekly goals that I know I can reach. I am also doing my best not to think to much in the future. I have a tendancy to get overwhelmed and give up if I think 40 lbs down the road…and so on. I really do feel like I am gonna do it this time, and that feeling is fantastic!

Well I gotta go fill my water bottle- Have a great day Buddies!

Good morning buddies!

 I am reporting to you this morning as a new woman! I am sad to say that I let the depression get to me this weekend. I was a completely slug and didn’t do ANYTHING…but managed to eat EVERYTHING.

This morning was AMAZING, I finally busted the Turbo Jam out of it’s plastic packaging this morning. MAN ooh MAN do I have a lot of energy this morning. I feel really motivated now! Yay! Now if I could just get myself out of bed every morning for it….

I hope that you are all having a wonderful day!

Ok Buddies, so I am feeling so motivated this week! My little project yesterday really helped me put things into prospective. On my calendar I put my goal as 2 lbs a week… and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how attainable that is!! I am drinking a ton of water, actually I drank 24 oz of it in an hour at school last night with out even realizing what I was doin, and I am trying to watch what I eat and snack healthy. The second part to my plan of attack is to start working out hard core tomorrow. I have all that wonderful Turbo jam stuff, but haven’t even pulled it out of the plastic packaging…Geez! But it is a new start, and I can totally do 2 lbs a week! YAY me!

I am really excited about the rewards I am giving myself too- I think I will be able to stick with it this time!

Have a great day Buddies!

So, I just had a great idea and I thought I would share it with you.

SO, my hotmail e-mail has a personal calendar attached to it that I never use. So, today I took the time to go through and set my weekly goals on it. I went ALL the way through to my Goal weight (which I should meet before Christmas, what a great present right?). Anyways, then I went through and put in my rewards for every 20 lbs I loose. Things like Getting a new piercing (I really want my nose but we will see), buying 500$ worth of new clothes (hey if I start saving now I bet I could have that much by then), and when I loose 60 of my 68 lbs I am going to treat myself to a day at the spa. Then of course, My final goal wieght, I am going to buy myself new clothes, and get a tattoo that I have wanted for about a year now.

The best part about my calendar is that I have it set to pop up a reminder on my regular weigh in days- I can Track my progress and compare it to my goals.

 Yay! I hope yall find this interesting, cause I am excited!

So, I am looking back over my week and realize that I am really not doing a horrible job. I figured that with all the crap that I have been dealing with lately I wouldn’t be able to stay on plan. I figured I would just say screw it and drink a ton of soda and grab every peice of junk food I can find. BUT I haven’t done that. I have one drank water while at work all week, and have steered clear of the junk (other thank my one candy bar). I am feeling so much better at the end of this week. I am getting rehydrated and I am starting to get more energy. YAY!

As far as the drama in my life goes, things are about to change quite a bit. My friend is leaving tomorrow, her husband bought the plane tix for her to go home. Whatever- The truth is I have kinda come to welcome all the anger I am feeling right now. It actually makes me feel very powerful, very motivated. The other fabulous thing, I might be able to start serving Papers on Tuesday instead of waiting for two weeks to get my title and car registration.

There is hope! Hurray, I am just trying to look ahead and pray that it gets better.

Have a great day Buddies!

Good Morning Buddies!

 First off, I want to thank all of you for your comments on yesterday’s blog. I was having such a rough day and I truly do appreciate all of your advice and support.

Things are better today, I think the initial shock of it all has warn off. Now I am in “fix-it” mode. Not for my room mate, she is on her own to make her own decisions. But as far as my home life goes- I start my second job in a couple of weeks (sooner if I can get my license and registration done). The pay is really good and I get to make my own hours. I am excited, because I am very competitive, and when you serve papers for a living you can compete with your self to get them done and the place has plenty of papers. So yay! I am going to do everything in my power to help my family get back where they need to be.

The good and the bad: The good news is, I didn’t binge yesterday like I normally would have done. I drank water all day while I was at work- had a salad and some rice for lunch. The bad- I did have a candy bar last night…I did give in, but it could have been so much worse, so I am letting it slide.

I am using all of this bad stuff as motivation. The truth is you can’t depend on anyone but yourself (well, I know I can depend on you, Buddies…but ya know what I mean ;)   ) and no one is going to make me succeed. I have to do it on my own!

Love ya guys! Have a great day!

Hey there buddies….It is ok with me if you skip this blog today…I am just kinda venting because I don’t know who else I can talk to right now….

Today finds me in a bit of a schmode…well, I guess more than that- I am full on depressed. I have been struggling for a couple of days with the fact that my best friend is probably going back to her abusive husband. I am trying so so hard to keep my judgments out of them. She is an adult, and will make her own decisions…but I still think she is acting stupid (sorry, had to clarify). The thing that upsets me the most is that the whole month she has been here she has said that she isn’t going back and we have been looking for an apt. Yes, that is the big thing…and it is ok if I sound selfish…but I have been so looking forward to moving out. AND hey, it was with my best friend… I dunno, I have just been kinda bummed out about that for the last couple of days.

SO, last night my mom calls me. Things are pretty bad here….we have been doing everything we can to stay afloat, but the sad fact is, it is just not possible to do it alone anymore. Over the next month, we are going to lose some property we own (paid off, but the taxes are out of control), My mom is going to lose her phone service… There is a possibility we will lose the house….The list goes on and on. More than anything THIS is what scares me the most. In order to try and save the house, my mom is going to ask my stepdad to move back in.

For those of you who may not know, I live with my mom. We have always been very close, but a year and a half ago my step father tried to kill himself. IT blew my family apart. It wasn’t because he was depressed, or felt like he couldn’t handle it anymore- it was because he was trying to manipulate all of us into making our lives the way HE wanted them to be. I haven’t spoken to him since.

So, that being said- The thought of him moving back into the house leaves me feeling so helpless. I know how bad it is for my mother to have to ask him to come back…. I just feel so hopeless right now.

Ok, So here is the thing- I am fighting the cravings right now. It is taking everything I have not to go get a HUGE Soda and some chocolate and just binge until I can’t handle it anymore. So far I have been able to keep it under control. So yay for that.

So, we went out last night. I love to go dancing! Last night was a weird night tho- I am ok, and nothing really bad happend- but I think some one slipped something into my drink. I am still having trouble this morning, my head is all woozy and My eyes are having trouble focusing. I don’t like it.

 So I have been thinking, and alcohol is not condusive to my weight loss… plus the way that I am feeling today, I think I am gonna stop drinking for a while. I am not a heavy drink, understand, I just like cold beer when I dance. But I am thinking that I will shoot for water from now on…See where that gets me. Plus, dancing is such  good exercise, I hate counteracting that with booze.

So, I guess I am in recovery mode today- even tho 2 bud lights should not make me fell this way!

Have a great day buddies!